the tubloon

I've been thinking. About a lot of things. Some of them have been sparked off today by the behaviour of the Tubloon, and my reaction.

The Tubloon is someone I struggle to get on with. If I may say, I struggle to like, even. I'm not alone: a lot of people share the feeling, and express it much more harshly than I do. The Tubloon meanwhile sits unperturbed in the eye of the storm, blissfully unaware of the disdain that howls around him... and calls us all 'retards.'

It's tricky, because there are two factors that stress me out. One is that I actually do want to like him, and the other is that I feel that I should. Love your enemies, said Jesus. I do want to be better at that, but it's really really difficult. It's difficult because love (at the best of times) is difficult... and your enemies are also difficult by definition. My enemy, if that's what the Tubloon is, seems to make a habit of being deliberately difficult. But love doesn't gossip behind people's backs (I am guilty) and it doesn't resort to rumour or sarcasm to bring down a person's reputation (I am also guilty). I think love does its best to find the best in people, to dig out the friend you never knew you could have and to see the person God made in the first place. And I've found myself repenting to God about all of this today.

That's why I thought I'd make a few aims when it comes to this situation, and my difficulties with the Tubloon. And if you're reading this, and you've worked out who you are, I want you to know that this answers your question about 4 o'clock: I remember these 5 things ... and that I'm very sorry for not treating you very well.

1. I won't be saying anything about the Tubloon in public that I wouldn't say to his face

2. I won't be silent in response to when I think he's being inappropriate or rude

3. I won't be joking or joining in the banter which borders on bullying

4. I won't be critical of, or belittle his beliefs or his hobbies

5. I will do my best, as much as he will let me and as much as is appropriate, to be a friend

A lot of people will think I'm crazy for this. To be honest, I'm crazy for a whole load of other things - this is just doing the right thing. And I'm kind of glad I got that off my chest. I guess that means it really is the right thing, even if it feels upside-down.